The Three “A”s of Poker. Part Two: “Aleatonyms”

Friday, December 13, 2013

Vinny The GrinderThe Grinder

It’s fair to say that words play a naturally eerie and suggestive trick sometimes. Language in itself is such an incomprehensible science, that linguists are sometimes compelled to define something with a word that naturally and phonetically sounds like what it is, like quack  (duck”, woof (dog) or moo (cow). In simple words, some things practically name themselves, don’t they? It’s the same with people. Some people tend to achieve or be exactly what they are known as, or what their names mean, literally.

Mr. Bill CashWe know that metonyms and pseudonyms are figures of speech in which words are used colloquially as a substitute for something else—an action, a function, a part of a whole, a person, or vice versa. I have my very first Poker Figure Of Speech. It’s called Aleatonym; Aleato is the Latin prefix for gambling or chance. An aleatonym is a figure of speech where a poker player’s name suggests the measure of his or her achievements at the tables, level of skill, style or comport.

Here are a few examples:

Chris Moneymaker: Not only did he make money, he set a trend for dreamers.

Barry Greenstein: The Einstein of Greens!

Philipp Gruissem: Gruesome on the poker table, indeed.

Jason Coon: This racoon will slyly steal all your chips.

Jeremy Ausmus: Truly, one of the awesomest poker players around.

Matthew Stout: A stout stack of chips, and a stout bank account.

Matt Glantz: Has a menacing glance, like Ivey.

Matthew Waxman: He reminds me of Dr. Emmett Brown from Back To The Future series, and has a cold dead stare, like a wax man.

Poker Chips from the Texas Poker StoreChristian Harder: Not easy to get his poker chips.

Sergio Aido: Never ask him whether he’s going to call, or you might hear “I do.”

Manig Loeser: He’s definitely not, but will make you one for sure, if you try and outplay him!

Lastly, the best of them all! David ‘Chip’ Reese: You know what he amassed for a living.

These sharks are among the top 100 players in 2013 and have more than a million dollars in winnings. I have to disagree with Shakespeare, and say ‘There’s gotta be something in a name!’ Can you think of more?

Good luck!

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